Off My Chest

I know I shouldn’t write about personal things in my blog because anyone can read it, but I really need to get this off my chest. This isn’t meant to insult anyone, (and I doubt the people this concerns will read it) but I just really need to say this. If I keep it in anymore, I might explode.

            This year is so different. I don’t like how it’s going and I don’t like that way you are acting. I’ve had a really crappy start to the school year and I have taken it somewhat out on your class, but I’m not the only one to blame. Many people have had a negative reaction to the changes you’ve made this year which tells you that you didn’t take everything into consideration that you needed to before you made your decision. You didn’t think about the whole department and the people in it before you changed everything. It’s like you didn’t even want our opinion at all. So why did you make it seem like you did? I don’t mean to sound so negative, but in order to move on from this and reach my new year’s resolution I need to vent about this, even if no one is listening.

            I don’t dislike the new guy. I think he’s really talented, nice, and enthusiastic. I enjoy rehearsing with him and I am glad that he has come here. Sure, I feel like sometimes he could chillax a bit and have a little more fun with us, but he gets things done and he’s very passionate. He seems a bit separated from the rest of us still, but I’m confident that after a few more months, he will build stronger relationships with us which will make everyone more welcoming. I’m glad he and his wife are here and I have absolutely no problem with them whatsoever. J

            I know my mom had said some things about me hating your class. This isn’t true. I love to sing and I always will. When I do this, I forget all my problems because all I can think about is doing what I love. I love performing and I even love rehearsing, as crazy as that sounds. At all state, even when people were complaining about the long rehearsals, I really loved them and I learned a lot. I love my private lessons because I’m developing my skills and that just makes me feel so good about myself.

            What doesn’t make me feel good about myself is when you only pay attention to one person and not anyone else. I feel like I’ve improved so much over the past year and I know others have to, but it feels like you don’t even care. Instead of working with the rest of us to help us get better, you just tell us we are doing something wrong, try one little thing with us, and then when we don’t get it after one little try, you showcase one person who’s apparently doing it right. Sometimes you tell us we are doing something wrong and you don’t even try to fix us. You just give up. That was not cool when you gave that solo to her and didn’t even hold auditions. I get that it was his song and he’s new, but you know how things work around here and you should’ve kept things fair by giving everyone a chance. I love her and I knew she’d get it but I still wanted a chance. I didn’t want the solo and I wasn’t mad that I didn’t get it, I was mad that I didn’t get a chance. I know other people feel the same way.

            What makes me feel like crap is that I feel like I have improved so much since last year and you either don’t notice or don’t care. That hurts a lot. You are so much different this year. Last year you were fun and an awesome director and I looked up to you so much. I respected you so much and I thought you were like one of the coolest people I ever knew. This year, you changed. You don’t even direct us anymore. You come in and “warm us up” with the same old solfège we do every day and you maybe work with us for ten minutes tops then you go and sit in your office and are on your computer. I get that you have a lot more paper work and stuff to do this year, but it feels like you don’t even care about us anymore. You’ve abandoned us. The only time I get a glimpse of the old you is in sixth hour, and even then you aren’t the same anymore. You constantly yell at us and it just brings a whole negative attitude to the atmosphere. That atmosphere is what I hate about your class. You’ve changed and you don’t even realize it.

            I know I’ve got some issues to work out and I plan on taking a new, positive outlook on things this year. I’m sorry for the first part of the school year and I plan on being better. (866 words)